Tips to Keep Your Love Alive


Sunset in Big Sur

Relationships are hard work! As many couples reflect this Valentine’s Day on their relationship, CAMFT offers simple tips to keep love alive. Whether your relationship is in crisis or you’d simply like to sustain a great relationship, consider these tips to build new skills and create a satisfying relationship.

  • Be mindful. Couples who are sensitive in how they approach touchy topics are happiest.
  • Listen to your partner. Try to find the meaning behind his/her words. Listening and being heard are among the greatest gifts you can give to each other.
  • Focus on the positive. Successful couples make at least five times as many positive statements to and about each other rather than negative comments.
  • Communicate. Try to communicate what you want instead of what is wrong.
  • Prioritize time with your partner. Keep romance and friendship alive. Set a weekly date night to relax and enjoy one another.
  • Diffuse the disagreement. Happy couples know how to repair a situation or exit an argument before things get out of control. Use humor, make a caring remark, change the topic, or take a 20 minute break when things get heated.
  • Seek help early. The average couple lives in distress far too long. Couples usually hope there is a way to make things better but fear a therapist will recommend separation. Remember—the right therapist will understand your goal to save your relationship. It’s your decision to make as a couple.
  • Find the right therapist. Seek someone who specializes in couples, and who both of you feel comfortable with. Use short telephone interviews to shop for a good fit with potential therapists.  Ask about fees, if they accept your health insurance, and if they work with difficult relationships.

Remember, it takes energy, a positive attitude, tolerance and persistence to maintain healthy, happy relationships. But the rewards are worth it. If you are struggling to find happiness in your relationship, consider couples therapy. Professional help from a licensed marriage and family therapist can help you and your partner build the life you want together.
Article provided by the California Association of Marriage and Family Therapists (CAMFT). Licensed marriage and family therapists are relationship experts. They work with individuals, couples and families providing support and perspective as patients struggle with life’s challenges. Visit  to find a therapist near you.