by GinaLisa Tamayo

You were totally in love. Maybe you thought about marrying this guy and having a family with him one day. The reality is it all fell apart or maybe the breakup came unexpected. Either way you’re devastated. I know what you’re going through because I’ve been there and you’re not alone.

I’d like to share with you what has helped me cope. Here a few simple steps to help you get through the pain and help you move forward!

Remember, you will survive this breakup.

Write your heartbreaker a letter

The day after I was dumped, I wrote my ex a long handwritten letter stating everything on my mind. I told him how confused I was, how angry I felt, the sadness I was feeling—I basically poured my heart out into this letter. Through the process of writing I was able to get out everything I was feeling post-breakup, that I wasn’t able to get out when he actually did it. It really helps get all of the confusion your feeling out of your mind and on paper. You can choose to send it or seal it and keep it in a safe place.

Bye –Bye… for now

When he broke up with you he might have said, “I hope we can still be friends”. Well, as lovely as that sounds, it’s not that easy. Don’t talk to him: it makes things a billion times harder.

I’m telling you now to go delete him on Facebook, unfollow him on Twitter, and delete his phone number if you have to. He’s already consuming your thoughts. The last thing you want to see is some girl posting on his timeline or that he’s “liking” other chicks’ photos! Save yourself a sob fest and just cut off all lines of communication for at least 30 days. I made the mistake of not blocking my ex immediately after we broke up. I kept looking at his page to see if he posted a new status and then when he did I would over analyze it. It was just a mess so I advise you to end all social media interactions ASAP.

You may be tempted to text your heartbreaker. I gave in a couple times and it just ended up in a fight. So think twice before you pick up the phone. There really is nothing to say.

If you have a bunch of pictures of the two of you in your dorm or apartment take them down. Hide them away in your closet so you won’t be constantly reminded of him.

Head to the bookstore

Before I went to bed, I would obsess over him. I’d be lying there with my eyes closed thinking about him until I picked up a good book. I started reading every night before bedtime. I recommend The 30-Day Heartbreak Cure: Getting Over Him and Back Out There One Month from Today by Catherine Hickland. She helps guide you through 30 days with encouraging words and encourages you to work through the activities she puts in her book. After you finish Hickland’s book, I also recommendThe Language of Letting Go: Hazelden Meditation Series by Melody Beattie and Emotional Intelligence: 10th Anniversary Edition; Why It Can Matter More Than IQ  by Daniel Goleman.

Start a journal

I know you probably already do a bunch of paper writing for class but for me  writing is a way for me to clear my mind. Writing is my coping mechanism. I really believe dedicating at least 15 minutes to writing down what’s on you’re mind is an important way to start healing your broken heart. Most of the time your journal entries will be about him. It’s okay. It all just depends what’s on your mind at the moment. Please write all you want about him. You’ll look back at this journal and see how much you’ve grown.

Don’t rush if you’re not ready

Chances are that a guy who had his eye on you while you were taken is going to take the plunge and hit you up knowing that you’re single again. He’s excited that you’re back on the market and you’re excited to have someone giving you a bunch of attention again. However, after starting up daily casual talk, this guy may send you a drunken text or a few indicating he’s looking for a sexy time. If you’re not ready to move in that direction, be direct with him (when he’s sober of course). If he really likes you then he will wait until you’re ready.

Finally…..

Make a commitment to yourself

This is a time to be thinking about you. Make an improvement in a part of your life you neglected while you were in the relationship. Focus on your school work, don’t just settle for any grade, study to get an A! Hit the gym to blow off some steam. Start eating right. This is the time to start fresh! Go for that internship you’ve been dreaming about! The possibilities are endless. The only one stopping you is yourself. Just remember you’re not alone. Every girl goes through heartbreak at some point in her life. Try and make the best of it and good things will come to you. I leave you with this, “Everyone must go through a storm to get to a rainbow.”- Anonymous.

GinaLisa Tamayo is a senior studying Communication at the University of Southern California. She currently works as a multimedia journalist at Annenberg TV news on campus. GinaLisa interned two summers at KTVU-Fox 2 in Oakland, CA. Prior to her work in broadcast journalism, she worked as an arts and entertainment reporter for an award winning publication called Neon Tommy.  Upon graduating from USC, she plans to move to a smaller market to work as a news reporter. Eventually, GinaLisa would like to report for a news station in the Bay Area, the place she calls home. GinaLisa grew up in beautiful Sonoma County with her parents, little sister Anna, and dog Ricky. Aside from news, she loves to write on an array of topics including fashion, food, and travel.